Kakashi's Blog
by Koplak from the Equator
Summary: Welcome to Kakashi's very mind! Let's see what he said to his blog and the harsh comments on the people he knows. R&R onegai shimasu!


**Kakashi's Blog.**

_**Numbuh 1:**_

_Hello? Just kidding. Well, this is my first entry in the blog. I usually hate to write a journal because it's such a waste of time. But now that I have a notebook (it took me a great deal of fortune!) I can save time writing and instead typing. And, hehe, typing makes funny noises, especially when I hit the spacebar._

_Anyway, in this first entry of mine I think I'll just write things that are rather cheesy or cliché. Like: my very first students, the Team 7. I have a neutral opinion about kids. I don't like them too much and I don't dislike them too much as well. You could say, it depends on the kid's behavior. To begin with, this team of mine might be the most unusual team among the teams that graduated from the academy, and they are quite um…old looking? I don't remember being that tall when I was graduated from the academy. Wait, what was my age again? 6? Or was it 7?_

_Never mind that. So, here are my students:_

_1. This kid's hair is like so bright. I think his parents (which were no longer in the world) liked to eat sunny-side-up omelet all the time. *gasp* I'm so sorry, Minato-sensei!! But, really, you like omelet? He's also the Kyuubi Kid, but I'll never discriminate him for that. If I do, his father's gonna curse me. He's still my sensei's kid, yo. Guess you know who this is._

_2. This kid too also has a bright hair. It's pink, for crying out loud! I wonder if she really came out of a cherry blossom. So is that why her name is Sakura Haruno? And, the worst part is, she kept talking about Sasuke. 'Sasuke is so hot!' 'Sasuke is so handsome!' 'He's a hunk!' Bah! Please stop it…_

_3. Now this is Sasuke. He's the last of the Uchiha clan and I'm glad he's quiet. But, gee, is every Uchiha acted like him or what? And all the emo stuff… I remember his brother rather looked the same. I know you're not, Obito, you're too much like Naruto. You could say, he kinda acting like me. OH NO! Me and Obito flesh and meat concoction! NOOO!!_

_Oops, my time is running out! Actually, it had run out an hour ago. Hmph…the kids are going to shout at me, but all I need is an excuse. Anyway, they're kids. Why should I be so scared of them? Haha!_

_H.K (not Hong Kong, never gonna put this thing again…)_

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_**Numbuh 2:**_

_Ah! It's been so long since I wrote my last entry. I left my notebook at home, dammit. Wondering where I've been gone? I was having a mission with my team and ended up fighting against a pedophilia couple. The big guy one was quite of a criminal, he's Zabuza Momochi, ladies and gentlemen! And the kid was Haku. I thought she really was a girl, but no, she—I meant, he's a __**boy**__!! Naruto almost had a crush on him if he never learned that Haku was a boy. So that makes them gay… Hmm…I don't mind with gay relationship, but pedophilia?? That's…so totally weird…_

_And Zabuza copied my sense of fashion, and I thought I'm the one called the copy-cat. He also wears a mask, but the difference is his mask is from bandages._

_Heh._

_Not as good as mine. Mine's satin!_

_Haha!! Eat that Zabuza!!_

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_**Numbuh 3:**_

_I shaved this morning. Yeah, you heard me right. Let me repeat:_

_I. Shaved._

_S-H-A-V-E-D_

_I thought masks prevent hair growth._

_No, it doesn't! *Slap myself*_

_I know it might be a shock. '*gasp* Kakashi shaved? There's actually facial hair under that mask?' Whatever! And not only the facial hair but the handsomeness too! I always want to take a picture of myself every time I just shaved, but… my fear is that my students will steal it away from my notebook and posted it around the internet. Oh no…if that happens, then Kakashi will no longer win the poll…or perhaps…never mind… The pictures are not even in my notebook, it's in my camera._

_Jinkies! I just spoiled myself!_

_Why am I being Narcissus nowadays? Don't tell me that the pictures in the community websites are poisoning me!! EEEEAAAAH!!_

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_**Numbuh 4:**_

_Whew, what a job! Sasuke was attacked by the village's elderly traitor, Orochimaru, and apparently Sasuke was marked as his next-body-to-be. Ew… that means… Orochimaru had this eerie interest with Sasuke. Before his body expires, what will Sasuke be? His sex doll? Judging from the long tongue, long neck, and the long hair, he couldn't be straight. *gulp* Thank God it wasn't me who he chose!!_

_But thanks (sarcasm intended) to the trouble he caused, I had to make a seal on Orochimaru's bite on Sasuke's neck—which drains a lotta energy. Augh!! He even bit him on the neck!! Like a vampire prince biting a virgin's neck. I'm gonna shiver… cannot type…_

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_**Numbuh 5:**_

_OOOOOOHHH!! Attention all Icha Icha lovers!! The new volume has released! I woke up at 4:00 a.m to rush to the nearest book store and wait for the shop to open. And, hell yeah, I'm first on the line! No one queues better than Hatake Kakashi!!_

_The store opened at seven but the line was already up to the corner of the road—which is far away from the bookstore. And…_

_Seven a.m!! The hour of heaven! The store opened and with my lightning speed (hehe…Raikiri effect) I snatched the first copy of Icha Icha Paradise that landed before my eye. I heard a serious sound of crash but I was too happy to look at. Until I was on the exit, I saw a flood aftermath of series of orange covers of Icha Icha Paradise. Who might've caused that?_

_I discussed the book with an online friend of mine (I know who he is, but for his sake of privacy, I won't state his entire name but only his initial G). He was as much as interested as I am. The part where beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep is so cool. I can't let go of my eye(s)_ **(author's note: sadly, I must censor this, otherwise you cannot read Kakashi's very mind.)**

**

* * *

**

"OMG!! Shut it, Naruto!! SHUT IT!!" Sakura shouted. She had covered her mouth with puke underneath it, ready to be either swallowed or thrown away.

"Man… we just got into entry five! There's more to go!!" said Naruto, complaining.

"He said I'm WHAT??!!" Sasuke roared, startling both Sakura and Naruto. "I'm Orochimaru's sex doll?? That snake lecher has an interest on me!!?? GET OUT!! I swear, after Itachi and Orochimaru…this guy is next on my target, I promise…" Sasuke growled and opened his blood-red notes out of his pocket along with a red pen and wrote his sensei's name with hatred.

"Anyway…who is G?" asked Naruto, re-opening the blog.

Sakura, glancing away from the screen, said, "It's obviously someone with a name started with G. Any ideas who the person is?"

Naruto and Sasuke's face crunched and they, lolling out their tongues in disgust, croaked out, "G-Gai-sensei…"

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRGGHHH!!!! League of Perverted Men!!!" Sakura squealed.

"Sakura, shut up!" Sasuke clamped his hand over her mouth, but he reacted too late and Sakura's scream was way too loud.

"Any troubles, Sakura? Is Sasuke screwing you again?" asked Kakashi from above their heads, squatting on a tree branch.

"AAAAHH! Kakashi-sensei!!" the three of them shouted (or in Sakura's case, muffled). Naruto quickly hid Kakashi's notebook behind his back, pretending that nothing was happening.

"I must've keeping you guys waiting…" he said.

"N-no worries, sensei. We're getting used to it." Sasuke stammered.

"Anyway, in case you're wondering why I'm late, I lost my notebook at home and I spent hours to search for it. Do you guys know where I could've left it?" he asked.

"Maybe in the training grounds?"

"I've searched there, but nil. Could it be…" Kakashi gazed black-hole-deep at the three young ninjas. The three of them shivered.

"Look what I found." said another Kakashi behind Naruto's back, taking the stolen notebook back. The one on the front disappeared in a billow of smoke.

Naruto and his teammates screamed in horror. _Damn…he's so gonna kill us… _they thought, wonderfully the same exact words.

Kakashi's eye twinkled with mischief, causing the three genins to shiver and if it was possible, knelt for forgiveness in front of Kakashi's toes. "I have to punish you all for stealing my precious notebook."

Eventually, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura knelt before him. "We're sorry!! Do anything but sticking kunais to our butt!!"

"By the way, sensei," Sasuke said, trying to avoid punishments, especially the one Naruto mentioned a line ago, "Naruto and I found that notebook in the training ground when we were practicing together, right Naruto?"

Naruto vigorously nodded, "That's right!! But I just can't hold myself from seeing it! Please forgive us, sensei!!"

Kakashi sighed. "Fine. Since punishing isn't my thing either. Did you get to see the pictures I kept here?"

"No! We promise we didn't!"

"Well, wanna see it?"

"Huh?" team 7 asked in confusion as one.

"I'll show you me after shave… Here it is…" Kakashi turned the notebook towards the students who was looking at it intently. Almost… Almost… _Almost…_

They fell to their noses once they saw Kakashi's photo (taken by the dogs) of him smiling and shaver on his hand. His cleaned face was blocked by Pakkun who was walking by in front of the camera. Ahem, Pakkun's butt, to be precise.

Kakashi chuckled. "Cute, right? That Pakkun sure has a round butt!"

Sasuke grumbled as he rose from the ground with nose dirty from getting buried under the soil. "I…hate…you…" he spelled the words carefully with heaving and fire-sparkling breath.

Kakashi chuckled again, "This is so funny. I'm gonna type it in the blog now."

* * *

_**Entry 20:**_

_Woohoo! 20! A new record!_

_The kids are so funny! I know they stole my notebook, trying to make me upset (which they successfully done) and infiltrate all my blogs written. But poor Sakura couldn't take it anymore once I talked about Icha Icha. Yes! My ultimate weapon!_

_Now they're gonna curse me for the next 6 days for showing them a fake post-shaving photo that shows my cute little dog's ass, Pakkun! But what can I say? I love that picture!_

* * *

Kakashi's chuckle got louder. Now Sasuke was decorating his sensei's name, still using his red pen, with fire decorations that obviously shows hatred. Kakashi's laugh stopped as a 'ping' sound rang from his notebook's speaker.

_You got message from Ex-homicidal__,_ said the online messenger. "Ooh! It's him. The so-called 'G'."

Naruto and Sakura rushed to see the screen again as Kakashi typed in some words. The message came from G said, _Hey, Kakashi, how're you?_

Kakashi replied, _The usual._

_Ex-homicidal__: Oh, still dealing with meddling kids, huh?_

_Mr. Lighting Edge__: You could say so._

_Ex-homicidal__: Hey, have you finished reading Icha Icha Paradise? I have. It's damn good._

_Mr. Lighting Edge__: _(sad emoticon) _Not yet. I'm busier than you, you know._

_Ex-homicidal__: Want some _spoiler_? _(evil emoticon) _I'll tell you _every_ detail…_

Kakashi yelped like a real dog, _No! Thanks! But no! I can read it myself! _(head-shaking emoticon)

_Ex-homicidal__: Better hurry! Coz everyone is talking about it here in Sand._

_Mr. Lightning Edge__: Dammit! Hey, are you using the computer in Kazekage's office right now?_

_Ex-homicidal__: No, this is my brother's notebook I'm using. Unlike my sister's, his stuffs are poorly secured._ (another evil emoticon) _But I'll be free to use that computer once I become Kazekage. Yay! I'll be making fanfictions!_

_Mr. Lightning Edge__: Haha! That guy! Well, see ya! I gotta go! I'm late three hours now._

_Ex-homicidal__: See ya. And I totally don't wanna be ya!_

_Mr. Lightning Edge__: _(laughing emoticon) _You got good sense of humor…Gaara…_

_Ex-homicidal__: Hey! The meddling kids'll know who I am!! _(angry emoticon)

_Mr. Lightning Edge__: That's exactly why. Bye bye!!_

Kakashi turned off the notebook and found Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke who were gaping their jaws off. His visible, non-Sharingan eye indicated he was smiling goofily or slyly. "We're pretty tight. And thanks to you, Naruto, he is now brave enough to have a FaceBook account—though the photos he posted are all Kankurou and Temari with their faces after getting up from the bed." He stood with a heavy sigh, "Now…shall we?" He whistled the way down as his students warily followed him behind with swaying intoxicated steps. Sabaku No Gaara…reads…Icha Icha Paradise. Make sense of that.


End file.
